Blog – Lynx Community

Mexico Report

DREAMS: A few nights ago I was back at the gleaming coal mine that the Mayan Dream Tribe had previously taken me to (coal – co-all). Or rather I was hovering above it, feeling my cells struggling to realign themselves so that I could flow deeper into the earth; at the same time I felt the Mayans magnetizing me, pulling at me. There was the sense, ‘this is the safe place’. When I woke and reconstructed the dream, my thought was that they were trying to show me how to pass out of my body into something like my immortality, and encouraging me to share this with others. Then a night or two later, the dream came back with an image of the corona virus, in which all the little projections were individuals and groups trying to escape, to take care of themselves. Instead, I saw energy lines – again associated with the Mayan Dream Tribe – pulling from within at the tips of the projections, reversing their trajectories, and drawing them back into the interior. I heard the opening lines of Dante’s Inferno: The Way In Is The Way Out.

The Return of the Abyss

8:32 PM 2/6/2020 Years ago I had a public affairs blog on Livejournal called “The Abyss”. I deleted it, and my website, when I moved to Chicago in 2008. Tonight I’m resurrecting the Abyss as a way to deal with the Trump impeachment and the sense of impending doom that I have about the United States. Back then I was commenting on public affairs, learning about what it means to take a public stance as a writer. This time I’m doing something different. I’m trying to save my soul. I’m lost in the emotional chaos of a political system I no longer believe in. I believe in the principles of the constitution, but I no longer believe justice is being done in this country. Our healthcare system is immoral. Our economy is unworkable in the long run. Our entertainment is psychic pollution. Our leaders are hapless frauds and failures. The only thing that redeems this horror for me is the fact that I know we all have souls and we all move inexorably toward the release of death and a brighter world afterwards. Our nation is a failure, and yet I know that people taken individually can be better than the country that oppresses them. I know that over the course of my life I have achieved a little liberation from suffering through spiritual practice. So this is an experimental post to see what kind of effort I can sustain in writing, to see what can be done with the mental chaos and anger I experience when I read social media posts about the horror of politics. I know that conscience demands I take some kind of stand on the affairs of the world, but I don’t quite understand my point of view. So I’m going to take a risk and begin to reach into darkness once again, hoping to find that shamanic key to “to forge in the smithy of my soul the uncreated conscience of my race.”

The very next step, of course, is to get down to specifics. Is Trump good or evil? Is it any of my business if he is or not? I am 50 years old and I have no children, nor ever will. What business of mine is the future of this sad, decadent world? And yet my life calls forth a response to the emptiness of our shared society. The very concept of conscience has been broken, polluted and debased by mass media.

Conscience to me means that all souls go to a higher world where the truth is revealed. I’m going to write my opinions of what that otherworldly truth might be as they apply to the politics and culture of this one.

I don’t want to be a part of the culture wars. I want to move past them to a higher world. But the only way out is through.

Leaving Belize

THE REEF: The dorado and barracuda pictured left were caught just outside the reef on the one day winds were calm enough to let us through. Other days we fished inside the reef for snapper, jack and smaller barracuda. The Belize reef is the 2nd largest in the world, after the Great Barrier reef. Ocean acidification threatens the reefs and the corals which build them. According to some scientists, the Belize reef could be dead by 2050. Get your fishing in soon.

Yaxha and Belize

Yaxha (yack-sha) has water. Big lake. Don’t swim in it – cayman. Small crocs, but you may not get that arm or leg back. Down an 11 km rutted dirt road. Kinda peaceful. About one-fifth the size of Tikal, way less than 1/10 the tourists, we actually walked the whole thing in one day. But same basic game-plan. Temples to mark Equinoxes and Solstices. – But, hey, if they had water, why’d they leave?

One of my favorite (self-generated) conspiracy theories: they started abandoning their major cities about the time Europe entered the Renaissance. Maybe their task of representing an advanced civilization was complete, and they were ready to turn the planet over to the more primitive Caucasians.

Tikal

We went to bed with howler monkeys outside our window, trying to convince the world of their status as large apex predators, guarding territory.

“Tikal is not the name the people used for this place,” our guide the next day explained in passable Spanglish. “It’s the name people used later. Like ‘echo’. The whisper of souls that were here before.”

But what were they doing here, these Mayans? There’s no reason to be here. No ocean. No lake. No river. No wells. No springs. No natural quarries. Not even a few insignificant creeks. Except for the rainy season, no water. A bunch of people looking to hide from enemies in a place no one would conceivably expect them to go? A band of hunter-gatherers passing through one day just decide to take an evolutionary leap into farming?

Experimental Results

Everything worked out very well. No one even brought up last week’s issues and I sorted it all out within minutes. One piece of it had been a simple misunderstanding. The day went very well and I had a fantastic time playing Dungeons and Dragons evening.

Other things worked out much better than expected this weekend as well. For instance yesterday I was dreading walking to my health club to work out in the cold but when I finally got outside the temperature wasn’t bad at all and I was quite comfortable.

So the dread I felt yesterday morning was an illusion and everything is A-Okay except the rest of this week is supposed to be subzero cold and February in general is supposed to be super cold. So I have this month of struggle to get through before I can be happy again — at least it feels like that. On the other hand this is some kind of “tunnel”, this freezing focus on putting one foot in front of the other is going to be over and I’m going to emerge in some new and deeper state of awareness.

With the government shutdown ending on Friday, it feels like the whole country is this way — we have no future, no hope. It’s like the American Dream is at a standstill right before some kind of cataclysm.

But today worked out much better than expected, so maybe there’s room for hope.

Adventures of the Mind

I feel there’s some value in posting about this very cold day because I just realized that blogging in this space is the key to developing a formal “channeled” blog for Kara, my guiding angel, just as speaking out loud in John’s circles was the key to developing voice channeling of her.

Sharing the struggles of my day is important in this blogspace as it is the type of material we want to encourage others to share here — it is these stories that people shared in circles, after all. We have to develop a spiritual space on the web, something not done before in the thousands of years of recorded history before now. There is a disconnect between the mental/emotional space of reading and writing on the web and shamanic states of consciousness. It is a space that has to be evolved. The “virtual voice” of the community has to be humanized in the midst of the impersonal fluctuations of the web.

I am in the midst of a unification of public and private. I work downtown once a week, away from my usual colleagues, at a skyscraper with 80 floors. I am all by myself in a huge faceless crowd I can feel stacked up to heaven all around me and over me. Unobserved by my superiors, I feel more alienated than ever from my cold and unforgiving corporate job. Last week I got the intuition that this lonely introversion was somehow going to be brought to a higher level of awareness. Then this Friday at a meeting it was revealed that there was a minor task that my department hadn’t been performing on time — I have had all weekend to wonder whether my bosses are going to make a big deal about this. I don’t dread it, but it is irksome to have to wonder, to have to wait to see what they decide before I can know how I’m going to feel tomorrow.

In this pensive mood I realized that this isolating sense of being intimidated by inhuman corporate authority is just the kind of thing I used to talk about at circles, and just the kind of thing we should be discussing on the web.

So I’m doing an experiment tonight, I’m posting about how disappointing and silly the personal emptiness of my job is, the fake corpo cheerfulness covering a total lack of personal loyalty or empathy, and at the same time I’m trying to stay focused on positive energy so that the situation at work is minimized. I’m trying not to make things worse while at the same time confronting the issue of how sad and lifeless the company I work for is — and by extension corporate America in general.

We’ll see how this situation works out. Will my positive vibrations cause the whole problem to dissolve? Or will the dreaded confrontation with the mechanical void of corporate authority make me uncomfortable? I’ll have to find out tomorrow and post back again.

Dream

I had a very powerful dream this morning. I remember three people — Steven Spielberg, my friend “J”, and Brian Allemana. In the first part of it we were all milling around in the hallways of some kind of office building, waiting for a ritual to start. These hallways reminded me of two places — the offices of a famous psychic that I visited once, and also the building where an occult group I belong to used to hold their ceremonies. “J”, a friend of mine who also belongs to this group, was talking to me about some kind of adventure we were going to have later. Steven Spielberg was there for a few minutes, although I don’t remember what he said. I do know someone who works for a company that’s connected to Spielberg, but I don’t know what it means.

Then I think the ritual we were waiting for must have taken place, although I don’t remember it. The next thing I knew, I was in a room I had rented, a kind of rehearsal space or studio, talking to Brian about future projects. There were some kind of red blinds on the windows that stretched around the walls, very stylish. It reminded me of a traditional Chinese color scheme, red and gold. I was worried about rain outside, so I started closing the windows, which were open at the top. I closed about three of them.

Ripples

How serious do we have to be? If we’re moving with the energy of the Lynx, what other energies move with us? What do we embrace, and what do we avoid? I’m in the midst of a hectic day, still moving into my new apartment. I have a busy week ahead. Should I stop and meditate to get into the full vibrational state of a circle before I post? What helps the community? What will change about my energy if I post? There’s no way to know unless I do something.