I feel there’s some value in posting about this very cold day because I just realized that blogging in this space is the key to developing a formal “channeled” blog for Kara, my guiding angel, just as speaking out loud in John’s circles was the key to developing voice channeling of her.
Sharing the struggles of my day is important in this blogspace as it is the type of material we want to encourage others to share here — it is these stories that people shared in circles, after all. We have to develop a spiritual space on the web, something not done before in the thousands of years of recorded history before now. There is a disconnect between the mental/emotional space of reading and writing on the web and shamanic states of consciousness. It is a space that has to be evolved. The “virtual voice” of the community has to be humanized in the midst of the impersonal fluctuations of the web.
I am in the midst of a unification of public and private. I work downtown once a week, away from my usual colleagues, at a skyscraper with 80 floors. I am all by myself in a huge faceless crowd I can feel stacked up to heaven all around me and over me. Unobserved by my superiors, I feel more alienated than ever from my cold and unforgiving corporate job. Last week I got the intuition that this lonely introversion was somehow going to be brought to a higher level of awareness. Then this Friday at a meeting it was revealed that there was a minor task that my department hadn’t been performing on time — I have had all weekend to wonder whether my bosses are going to make a big deal about this. I don’t dread it, but it is irksome to have to wonder, to have to wait to see what they decide before I can know how I’m going to feel tomorrow.
In this pensive mood I realized that this isolating sense of being intimidated by inhuman corporate authority is just the kind of thing I used to talk about at circles, and just the kind of thing we should be discussing on the web.
So I’m doing an experiment tonight, I’m posting about how disappointing and silly the personal emptiness of my job is, the fake corpo cheerfulness covering a total lack of personal loyalty or empathy, and at the same time I’m trying to stay focused on positive energy so that the situation at work is minimized. I’m trying not to make things worse while at the same time confronting the issue of how sad and lifeless the company I work for is — and by extension corporate America in general.
We’ll see how this situation works out. Will my positive vibrations cause the whole problem to dissolve? Or will the dreaded confrontation with the mechanical void of corporate authority make me uncomfortable? I’ll have to find out tomorrow and post back again.